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Inside the Blogger's Studio

Welcome to the newest feature at Touch You Last: Interviewing the Blogroll. One by one I’ll be probing through the psyches of all the folks that I link to, lowering their defences, revealing their inner demons, possibly even rendering them incontinent.

My first interviewee is the smart and lovely Beth, from the blog formerly know as Thesis Writing Is Hell. I caught up with the good doctor at Au Bar, where I convinced her to climb down from the risers and answer a few quick questions…



You've been described as a freelance scientist, an educator, an artist, a model, and a social engineer. Which of these distinctions do you find impresses people the most?

Definitely social engineer. And I really do have some mad social engineering skillz - although I use them more for fun than profit. On the other hand, being able to say "I'm a scientist" has been a good pick-up line when a hot boy asks me what I do for a living. And I'm still astonished that the odd person appears to believe that I'm a model. Receiving a $5 gift card for having my photo taken really doesn't count, no matter how much I want it to.

What have you not yet been described as that you'd like to add to that list?

A joker, a smoker and a midnight toker.

Have you made a dime off of your Jinx clothing link or your Google Ads (or any other sponsored link?)

I have literally earned 2 cents since I added Google Ads last month. And a Jinx.com sticker for adding their link.

By a rough calculation how many additional links and/or posts-per-day would you need to implement in order to quit your job and become a woman of leisure?

In order to quit my day jobs and live off my blogging, I'd need to be 173,000 times more effective than I currently am. Whether that would mean having 173,000 Google Ads in my sidebar, or posting 173,000 blog entries per day, I'm not sure. Alternatively, if I used my current level of revenue to pay off my student loans, it would take me 2.4 million years (assuming of course, that there was no interest on my loans after the first 9 years. Because I'm not recalculating the interest). Of course, this all ignores the Jinx.com sticker. I'm not sure what the market value of that asset is.

How long have you been a vegetarian?

A bit over 10 years.

Was it a cold turkey thing, or was there a transition period?

It wasn't cold turkey (*snicker*... vegetarian, turkey...) - there was a transition period... my ex (well, he wasn't my ex at the time) became vegetarian after eating some Hamburger Helper and so I was effectively vegetarian at home and would only eat meat at restaurants. The upshot of this was that I would go for weeks without eating meat and then when I did, I found it kind of gross. So I stopped.

How many times do you suspect someone has secretly slipped meat into your meal, either for spite, or because of a misguided belief that it was in your best interest?

I have little doubt that someone at some point has secretly slipped meat into my meal, I just don't know which of my many enemies may have done it. If I had to bet, my ex-mother-in-law (misguided belief) and my ex's best friend (spite) would top the list of potential culprits. I know for a fact that Pizza Pizza in Ontario was slipping "beef extract" into my tomato marinara dipping sauce... we had been ordering that with our pizza for 8 months before one particularly attentive pizza order taker said, "Hmmm... you are ordering pizza with only veggies and no cheese. You wouldn't happen to be vegetarian, would you?" and told us about the "extract". Friggin' Pizza Pizza.

Were you a diarist before blogging came around?

Nope. I recall being given horrible pink diaries with cheap locks on them for various birthdays or other holidays as a kid but never, ever writing in them. Interestingly, I started writing a journal after I started blogging, on the repeated advice of my counselor (did I mention repeated?). I record (on paper, with a pen, just like in olden times) the things that I want to talk about but don't want out in the public domain. Which means if you ever find said journal, you could probably blackmail me but good.

Speaking of blackmail, seeing as you've known my wife since the olden days (with its pen, paper, leaded gas, mall bangs, cut-off jean shorts, and Reaganomics), what sort of blackmail do you have about her?

Your wife is a fine, upstanding young woman who has never done anything untoward in her life and thus, I have no good blackmail material on her. This statement was in no way influenced by (a) the copious amounts of hush money she has paid me to say this, or (b) the fact that any blackmail stories of her would also incriminate me.

Comments

Anonymous said…
And how.

One of the many reasons why we must always remain friends (whether Facebook says so or not).
Beth said…
Don't worry, Sar. I've got your back.

And Dave, thanks for picking me to be your first interviewee. Good times were had by all... it was even worth coming down off the Au Bar risers for.
Anonymous said…
I hear from a reliable source that you are actually shackled to the risers at Au Bar.
Kelly said…
Shackled?!

Kinky!
Jay said…
Great interview! Beth, I laughed snortingly over the market value of the sticker - how clever you are.

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