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Update at 4:02pm

10:00 am – We start Deliverance, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

10:05 am – Ronny Cox and Weird-Assed Looking Kid start playing "Dueling Banjos"." Less then five notes in, Isha begins laughing uncontrollably.

10:23 am – Isha – “What’s wrong with this kid?”
Jorge – “He can play the banjo with his mind.”

10:33 am – Team Deliverance makes camp for the night. While three of the men have actual tents, Burt Reynolds is lying on the hard-ass ground.
Isha – “Is that his tent? It’s just a sheet on a pole!”
Dave – “Burt Reynolds: Toughest man ever.”
The men all say goodnight. Burt doesn’t close his eyes, but gives a steely glare towards the sky.
Dave – “He doesn’t sleep. He only ever watches.”
Isha – “He’s like Chuck Norris.”

10:45 am – Squeeeeeeee!
All jokes stop. In fact, there’s no conversation for the next 20 minutes.

11:02 am - Dave – “I guess somebody had to play that character, but why would Ned Beatty accept this role? ‘Ned, it’s a great role. You get sodomized, and then the rest of the time everyone calls you Fatty.’”
Isha – “You’re career will skyrocket! Shooting star!”

11:15 am – Cathy arrives.

11:32 am – The boys make it through hell’s half acre. They arrive at a small pond, surrounded by wrecked cars. Jon Voight’s character is making sure everyone has the story straight.
Jon Voight - “Everything happened here, alright! Randy, you broke you’re leg right here. And this is where Ronny drowned…”
Jorge – “And Ned, that rock over there butt-fucked you.”

12:10 am – We start Superfly a little late. There’s really no dialogue and nothing happening, which gives us a good chance to break out the food.

12:39 pm – Isha – “I think white turtlenecks are a crime against humanity!”

12:50 pm – We witness the longest, slowest, grossest sex scene ever. Highlight comes when Superfly slips his tongue between his girlfriend’s fingers, eliciting a unanimous AwwwgghhhJesusGawwwwwdhedidn’tjustaawwwwghh!

1:02 pm – Jorge – “Is that the cop? What the hell is going on?”
Dave – “I think Cathy is the only one that knows what the hell this movie is about.”
Cathy – “I see where this is going. I don’t think he’s going to be able to retire.”

1:03 pm – A photo montage of people doing drugs begins. Honest to God, ten minutes later, the montage ends.

1:39 – We start Drugstore Cowboy.

2:19 – Either the movie is very good or we’ve run out of material because no one has talked in a while.

2:34 – There are a few rules to being a drugstore cowboy. Rule number one: never talk about dogs. Rule number two: never look at the back of a mirror. Rule number three: never ever put a hat on the bed.

Suggestions for next year’s marathon: Roadhouse, Dolemite (stupid not-available Dolemite), Ghostbusters, MASH

2:46 – Jorge – “How come in every movie we watched so far, someone drives a Sandford and Son truck?"

2:47 – I realize that I’ve unintentionally put two movies back-to-back about people trying to change their lives. The difference being, Bob from Drugstore Cowboy wants to get clean and stop being a criminal, whereas Superfly wants “some time that’s not all fucked up with things to do.”

3:05 – Isha is the first to fall asleep, only three movies in. She’s out of the running for a small bottle of champagne Cathy brought for whoever stays up all night. Sarah, only partially participating, naps through the entire movie.

3:35 – We start Logan’s Run.

3:44 – Central to the movie is the concept that all residents of the domed city are put to death at age thirty. We witness a strange ceremony where those people having their thirtieth birthday gather together in their speed-skating unitards. The carousel they’re standing on begins to spin and the people begin floating towards the ceiling. When the reach the top of the room, they explode in a flash of sparks.
Cathy – “ That wouldn’t be so bad.”

Comments

Beth said…
I take it you got your wireless router working? Good job!

"Suggestions for next year’s marathon: Roadhouse, Dolemite (stupid not-available Dolemite), Ghostbusters, MASH…"

CRIMETIME!!
kris said…
Oh, funny I didn't make the rundown, even though I CALLED IN FROM MY REMOTE PART OF NORTH AMERICA!!!! I would expect this from someone in another time zone, say, VANCOUVER, but this is crap!

Have fun watching Weekend at Bernie's II without me. Murrr.
Rebecca said…
“He’s like Chuck Norris.”

Cue the uncontrollable laughter!

You guys sound like you're having a blast. Had I been there, I most certainly would have loaned you my wireless router.
Anonymous said…
Dude, I cannot believe you said Burt Reynolds is the toughest guy ever. Isha's clearly the only one of you who knows what she's talking about.
Chuck Norris will have to kick your ass for that.
Dave said…
Beth - No go on the router. She's busted--hence the intermitant posts. We just yanked the ethernet cable out of the desktop for periodic uploads. Fucking technology.

Kris - Indeed, we totally dropped the ball, and we didn't call you back when we said. Same time next year--you get the golden invite. It'll be called Sore Asses and Explosions--And All Because of Kris.

Rebecca - We thought I was just a tech idiot but it turns out that D-Link gave me a bogus modem. I'll put you on the VIP list for next year.

Reay - Thanks for the link. Had NO idea where that link originated.
Anonymous said…
Kris - In fact I called you - Twice.
I even left a message.

Dave is on Crack.
Jay said…
Was the "AwwwgghhhJesusGawwwwwdhedidn’tjustaawwww" really unanimous? Because that seems almost as unlikely as when a group of strangers break into a song and dance number where, despite never having met before, they all oddly know the choreography, in any number of movies that I seem to have recently been subjected to.
Anonymous said…
DAVE ===> I can't say for sure that's the original. In fact, there's stuff in there I didn't recall seeing before and a couple of things I vaguely recalled but weren't included, so it may be a different list that pinched some from other lists. Kinda like another list I found, which was different than either the original sent out those weeks back and the one I sent the link to. Looks like Chuck is the topic of a lot of "facts", though I've gotta say, I crack up even thinking about some of the entries on the list I sent the link to.
Hee-larious.

Peace out, fair homie.

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