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The Bachelor

Sarah’s away for the next two weeks. I’ve been on my own for about five hours now, and so far the house hasn’t caught fire, and I’m not drunk beyond reason. I sense I’ve beaten most people’s expectations already.

She’s off to Vancouver for a few days to hang with Beth, and from there she’s meeting up with her parents and jumping on a cruise ship due for Alaska. I know, I know: nice life. Hey man, I’d be there too if I wasn’t out of vacation days (full disclosure: I think I have one spare day between now and October 1). So, it’s a sausage-fest at my house, what between me and the cats.

I’m not sure what the longest time is I’ve been in this house without Sarah. I suspect it’s no more than three of four days. (And this is exactly the kind of thing I’d get her to confirm for me if she was hear right now.) It’s sort of nice to have the place to myself, and I don’t think I’m a dick for saying that. I think probably ninety percent of people enjoy hanging all by their lonesome once in a while. That said, I know that the fun will wear off by Friday at the latest, and I’ll be talking to the furniture before the weekend's up. (Full disclosure: I’ve already talked to myself at least six times today.)

Baby, I miss you and I love you. Claim me some land while you’re up there. I found a tin plate and a prospector hat at a garage sale and I’m itching to make us a fortune.
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Comments

Anonymous said…
Awww! She's only been gone for 5 hours and you already miss her. That's so sweet!

I promise to take good care of her while she's here. Once she goes to Alaska, however, I can offer her no protection. She may get eaten by a polar bear, but I cannot be held responsible for that.
10:12 pm
Dave said…
As you see her off, I expect you to use your super-human vision to warn her of predators off in the distance. Beyond that, there is little more you can do.
11:51 pm
Anonymous said…
If you're itching, there are creams that I can recommend, based on what Joe has told me, anyway.
12:52 pm
Anonymous said…
OHhhh so sweet! Also, you aren't talking to yourself...you are talking to the 'cats'. Yes. The cats. (=
10:51 am
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