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Top Moments in Television (1 – 5)

5. Chappelle’s Show: Season Two, “Charley Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories: Rick James”
The skit: Cast member Charley Murphy (also Eddie’s older brother) relates the tale of the three times he was forced to beat the shit out of Rick James. The story and the reenactment are interspersed with clips of Rick James himself, disputing the incidents and offering his own take.
Why it’s great: For the most part, I’ve tried to avoid the clips and episodes of TV that are universally lauded, but I couldn’t resist including this one. I think what surprised me most is that “I’m Rick James, bitch!” is the least funny part. (The slow-mo bionic kick is the bit that kills me in particular.)
Clip: No problems getting this one. It’s everywhere.


4. Arrested Development: Season Three, “Mr. F”
The episode: (This one’s doozy.) Michael has an important meeting with Japanese investors and needs them to believe that the Bluth Company has completed construction on homes it hasn’t yet begun building. The construction is being held back because the ground under the development is ridden with mole holes. Tobias meets a new friend at the gym that he thinks is with the Creative Artists Agency (CAA), but who is actually a CIA agent. The agent asks Tobias to be a mole in the federal case against the Bluths, but Tobias confuses this with some kind of acting opportunity. Elsewhere, George Sr. orders a dodgily constructed jet pack in yet another escape attempt, but the package gets switched with a train set Michael ordered for his son. Gob and Buster decide that the Japanese investors can be fooled about the development’s progress if the Bluth’s construct a series of tiny houses that will pass for life-sized houses from far away. The investors arrive and the plan works at first, until Tobias—dressed in a giant mole costume—jumps up from behind the model homes and starts tromping through them, and Michael’s son—suited up in the jet pack outfit—comes flying into the scene and crashes into Tobias. It’s like a scene out of Destroy All Monsters and the Japanese investors are suitable offended. Also, we find out that Michael’s girlfriend, Rita, is actually not a secret agent known as MR. F but is in fact a Mentally Retarded Female.
Why it’s Great: No show is as good as Arrested Development as setting up a bunch of weird story threads and then pulling them together brilliantly in the end. Of all the episodes, this one has the best, most unexpected payoff; plus about a dozen callbacks to previous episodes.
Clip: I wish. Would have saved me a lot of writing.

3. Sopranos: Season One, “I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano”
The scene: After a season on Dr. Melfi’s couch, Tony finally gets over his mommy issues. Tony has always known that neither his mom nor his uncle are especially fond of him, but after listening to an FBI tape, he discovers that they’ve put a contract out on his life. Shortly thereafter, Uncle Junior’s out of the picture when he gets picked up by the feds for a credit card scam. After hearing the news, Tony heads to his mother’s rest home—and is told that he’s come just in time; his mother had a stroke. He smirks as he finds her on a stretcher, receiving oxygen and being wheeled out. Tony leans over, inches from her face as the EMTs roll her down the hall. He tells her that he knows what she did. “Uncle Junior’s in jail and now there’s just one more thing I have to take care of. I’m gonna live a long, healthy life; but not you, Ma. Not you.” As security people haul Tony away, his mother smiles evilly under her oxygen mask.
Why it’s great: Better than Man versus Nature, or Man versus God, it’s Man versus His Mom.
Clip: Nope.

2. OZ: Season One, “A Game of Checkers”
The scene: Thanks to a gun smuggled into the prison, a major riot is underway at Oswald State Penitentiary. Control of the prison belongs to a council of prisoners that represent the different groups and gangs in Oz. Things go swimmingly… until the Gangbangers run out of heroin. They start tearing the place apart. Adebisi gives up the search and just starts beating the shit out of anyone in his path, include his number two guy, Kenny. As he slowly chokes the life out of Kenny, Said bellows, “ADEBISI!” and levels the gun at him. “It’s over. It’s finished!” The standoff goes on for a little longer, but Adebisi eventually relents. Crazy with withdrawal, Adebisi pleads, “Gimme some tits*.” The plead turns to a cry. “I need some tits!” By the end, he’s screaming it. “GIMME SOME FUUUUUCKING TIIIIIIIIIIIITS!”
*Prison slang for drugs.
Why it’s great: Two of the show’s best actors, both totally hardcore, face off. And, because the show is in the habit of killing someone off every two episodes, you think that Said just might do it.
Clip: Another sort of. This is a music video that pretty much encapsulates the entire riot episode. The standoff comes around the three minute mark.


1. Office (UK): Series Two, Episode Six
The scene: The last five minutes of this episode make it probably the most crushing ending ever for a comedy. In one of the patented talking head sequences, Tim tries to convince the interviewer that his feelings for Dawn weren’t really that strong and that he’s not that upset about her leaving for Florida. Mid-sentence, he changes his mind and excuses himself. The camera follows as he marches down the hall, finds Dawn, and asks her to speak in private. He takes her inside a meeting room and removes his microphone. We watch them without any volume as they exchange some words, hug, then walk out. The camera follows Tim back to his desk, and once seated, he flips his mic back on, looks at the camera, and says, “She said no, by the way.” Elsewhere, David receives his redundancy package from his bosses. He’s cool, unaffected, even admits that the severance is more than he expected. As his superiors get up to leave, he begs for his job. “Don’t make me redundant. Please. I don’t need an answer now, but just say that it’s possible. Give me another chance. Please. Please.” Before he gets an answer, the series ends.
Why it’s great: Two reasons. First, because it is so crushing; and despite the fact that they later made a Christmas special with a happier finale, the show was originally written to end that way. It was a hilarious but totally depressing show, and it stated true to form to it’s originally intended end. Second, because after twelve episodes where you think David is awful shit and probably the worst boss in history, you’re feelings for him flip in a second and you find that you too are begging for him to keep his job.
Clip: Not yet, but I’ll keep looking.

Comments

Anonymous said…
That scene in Oz always gives me the shivers. Walker is a powerful actor, and that is one of the best lines delivered in anything, as far as I'm concerned.

One of these days I will have to sit down and watch "The Office".

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