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Wednesday Movie - Dead Ringers

My watching this turns out to be kind of timely. Apparently David Cronenberg is working on developing a television series based on his creepy 1988 ‘classic.’ This flick just barely classifies as a Wednesday movie—I wasn’t dying to see it but I was planning on getting to it eventually. But we’ve recently discovered the wonder that is the Ottawa Public Library, and every time I go there to drop something off there’s always something in the return rack that catches my eye. This is how I ended up watching a sort-of thriller about twin gynecologists that would have creeped me out more had I a vagina on my person.

Jeremy Irons is Elliot Mantle: suave, handsome, and one of the partners of a highly successful fertility clinic; also, Jeremy Irons is Beverly Mantle: partner two in said clinic, equally handsome, and somewhat smarter but nowhere near as slick as his brother. The two men run a successful business, and when that’s not occupying their time, they also enjoy playing switcheroo. Elliot, I’d rather stay in and do my research; you go accept those Gynos that we’re up for. Beverly, that last patient turned out to be a bobcat in the sack; I told her I was you and now you can have a turn. Stuff that—let’s face it—you’d do with your twin if you had one.

Their new patient is an actress who unwittingly lets herself get tag-teamed by the brothers Mantle. While she eventually figures this out, after a brief bout of anger, she renews her relationship with Beverly. Elliot accepts a teaching position that leaves Beverly holding the practice on his own, and the stress of this coupled with the taut umbilical cord causes Beverly huge tension. His actress girlfriend introduces him to the wonder of uppers and downers, which leads to his sucking back any pharmaceutical he can think to prescribe himself. The drug-haze causes serious psychological damage to Beverly, who then begins to think that all his patients have mutant reproductive systems. He commissions a metalsmith to fabricate a set of new gynecologic tools to treat these mutant women—the most disturbing of which resembles a scorpion’s tail, although there are others that, fortunately, the camera doesn’t linger on. Before his brother can return and salvage things, Beverly sinks the business and falls into a pit of psychosis that, in the end, probably won’t be good for anyone.

I enjoyed the movie (as much as a person can enjoy something like this) up until Beverly loses the business. It’s an interesting concept, but after that it’s a lot of futile cold turkey-style rehab and paranoia, and nothing happens for a very long time but in the end you’re pretty sure everyone’s going to die. And then they do. Before that: not a bad movie.

Jeremy Irons was a great choice, for me anyway, because he creeps me the fuck out in anything he does. He could play Jesus Christ and I would still be horrified every time he smiled. But also, because he is Jeremy Irons, actor, and because you know he’s just one guy, you do spend the first fifteen minutes trying to figure out the camera tricks. But it’s seamlessly done and you stop thinking about it eventually.

Overall, good concept; skin crawl-creepy but not scary; peters out around the hour twenty minute mark.

Comments

kris said…
Most of my gynecological visits peter around the one-twenty mark, so I'm guessing this is a pretty fair assessment.
Anonymous said…
I'd like to agree with Kris.
But when I pretend I'm a Gyno, I'm all about the "Over 1 Billion Served" number over the door.
kris said…
Crickets.
Anonymous said…
I think Kris should start an awards blog, which awards golden crickets to crappy joke tellers.

Dammit.

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