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As far as the restaurant situation goes, we’ve expanded our eating repertoire over the last two months. Here are a few quick highlights, with the appropriate props. I’ll also be honest and admit that some of these are restaurants we visited a while back but that I’d forgot about. Thanks to everyone for the wave of restaurant tips; it was greatly appreciated.

Azteca – Actually, one of the first restaurants I’d ever been to in Ottawa. Went again yesterday after a two-year hiatus and it looks like they’ve renovated the hell out of the place. I think I preferred the old Azteca, but that may have been my meal’s fault. Never order a meal that the restaurant purports to be ‘an original’ or ‘only available here.’ I had something called Tacos al Pastor, which for all intents and purposes was a pork salad. (Props: Neil & Lorna)

Blue Cactus – A good place; no complaints really (though I guess that says something about my general restaurant pessimism if that’s how I compliment a place). (Props: Jorge, Paul, Neil & Lorna)

Elephant & Castle – A nice alternative to the food court. And it turns out that tap labeled Moosehead Light actually pours Absinthe. Last time we were there I ordered a pint of it (don’t ask why—maybe I was having a fat day) and by the time we were left I was stupid drunk. Ask Sarah, I’m not exaggerating. (Props: Paul)

Eighteen – Very cool building that made me feel trendier then I actually am. The martinis were cheap and girly (I didn’t partake after the Moosehead Light debacle) but a glass of house red cost me thirteen dollars. I’m not generally a cheapshate, but thirteen dollars? WTF, folks? WTF indeed. (Props: Tanya)

Fish Market – I think I enjoyed my meal here, but what stands out strongest in my mind was the continuous parade of transients that flowed past the window as we ate. Maybe it’s always like that or maybe it was a spontaneous occurrence, but the corner of York and Dalhousie was Hobo Junction for at least the two hours that we sat there. Guy wearing a plastic bag for a hat. Lady with no shoes. Guy with no shirt and a dirty back. Dude arguing with the curb. If you’re into the creepy hobby of People Watching, the Fish Market is the place to be. (Props: Jorge, Keith, Paul)

Heart & Crown – It looks like a pub but it’s actually the Tardis. We walked in the front and were lead by the server through room upon room until we were eventually seated somewhere in Hull. To my experience, The Heart & Crown has the best fish and chips in Ottawa—not The Royal Oak (lying bastards). (Props: Neil & Lorna)

Keg Manor – More expensive then your average Keg, but the food was great (this from a guy that’s not that into steak). Out of curiosity, doesn’t anyone actually like or even eat those weird mini pastries they give you? Someone must be keeping the demand for that up because it isn’t me. (Props: Isha)

Shwarma King – I could eat lunch here every day. I would scoop their garlic butter into my mouth by the handful if social convention and my wife didn’t dictate otherwise. (Props: Neil & Lorna)

I should also note that I feel quite bad about not going to The Works yet, which was recommended by Tien—a man who knows his meat like no other.

Elsewhere, for those of you in the Windsor area, be sure to stop by Chandler’s Pub. They’re going through some renovations right now, but if you like the Celtics or projection screen TVs that place is going to be your Cheers one day.


Anonymous said…
Things that made me laugh:

- Pork salad
- Absinthe & drunken stupidity - Nice!
- Continuous parades of transients. It's called ENTERTAINMENT! I like how it appears that you give us props for having the creepy hobby of watching people. By the way, stop picking your nose. And move your left foot, you're blocking my upskirt camera.
- Garlic butter dripping out of your mouth
- Tien certainly knows his meat. Now the context of that

Well written. I always find it interesting how people will sell you their cities based on the food you can eat there. When, really, every city in Canada (with some exceptions) has a plethora of fine eating establishments.

Sometimes the dingiest looking places turn out to have the best food.
Anonymous said…

Meat is to be swallowed....uh....for eating....uh, to be eaten....uh....crap!
Where's my knife and fork and the steak sauce? Head start, Jorge!

Anonymous said…
Man, I would never win a Steak eating contest against you.

Now, bread on the other hand...
Anonymous said…
You lost me part way through that entry.
You're a straight male, yet you don't like steak? I'm with you on the WTF about a $13 glass of wine (read: Jesus Juice), but a BOLD WTF? about a dude who digs the ladies not being into steak.
Keep that nonsense up, and I may have to report you and have someone check on your Real Man Licence (which may, bear in mind, also affect your right to: play video games, fart loudly, have "a midnight porn snack" to help you unwind before bed, check out women, stand at least one urinal away from any other man whenever possible, and dance with your hands safely below shoulder height).

Denounce steak, and you're skating on mighty thin ice. I think the first time just gets you a citation from The Brotherhood, but you better watch yourself, buster.
Anonymous said…
This coming from the man who has refused to play Jedi Academy the last bunch of times, even though we start early enough to have a great, prolonged game and still allow non-face-standing wusses to get to bed early on time.

Rumor has it that you have taken up embroidery. Consider yourself under investigation until further notice.

In the mean time, you must refrain from scratching yourself, and your girlfriend is to be given a replacement man for a few weeks.
Just_A_Rat said…
I ate at the Fish Market when I was in Ottawa for business last year. I was seated upstairs, if memory serves, or at least away from any windows. I rather enjoyed the meal, but think I would have done so less had I been subjected to the "Cavalcade of Human Oddities" you were.

By the way, who won the argument, the guy or the curb?
Jay said…
Ah, Elephant&Castle.

When I first moved to Ottawa, I worked on Parliament Hill and lived in Sandy Hill, so I would walk through the Rideau Mall to and from work every single day. Stopped at Ellie often to fortify myself for the walk home.

I love the market, but I hate walking by the fish market, can't stand the smell. Ewey.
Anonymous said…
As a native Ottawan, I feel I should correct you, Jay. The mall you walked through is the Rideau Centre and has tourist attraction status that allows it to stay open during holidays.
Jay said…
Tien: as a first-rate nit-picker, you can kiss my %$&&^*#$
Dave said…
Reay - I didn't know you were a lobbyist for the beef industry. And it's not that I said I'd rather eat a piece of shit then steak, it's just not my favourite meat. But next thing I know, Captain beef is all up in my grill.

Just a Rat - In that kind of argument, everyone's a loser.

Jay - Beers before work--that's my kind of class.
Anonymous said…
Jay, I'm trying to figure out what %$&&^*#$ could possibly be....too many letters for "ass" as is usually used in this situation. "buttocks" perhaps? or maybe "rosieass"....or maybe it's not part of your anatomy at all....maybe you have some object that you like to use in this situation...."kiss my lucky charm!" too many letters...hmmm.
Anonymous said…
Tien is, as they say, "courtin' a Cornwall whuppin'"
Anonymous said…
....that's better than courtin'a corn hole whuppin.
Anonymous said…
I sit corrected.
I'd stand corrected, but your latest tangent is worrying me, and those prison reflexes kicked in.

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