• On the red carpet this year, boobs are in! Whether you’re Hilary “I’m not a boy after all!” Swank, or you’re Natalie Portman—-the last of your friends still waiting for ‘Aunt Flo’.
• All red carpet shows are crap and should only ever be broadcast with the song Popcorn in place of any live audio. Nobody seems to know how to use a microphone and the hosts are always introducing strangers to one another as if magic will suddenly happen. Someone on CNN introduced Catalina Sandino Moreno, star of Maria Full of Grace, to P. Diddy. And boy did hilarity ensue!
• Sarah confirms that, while Beyonce can’t speak French, she can sing Giberish like nobody’s business.
• No one told Orlando Bloom that if he just dug deep enough in the rental bag, he would have found a tie in there somewhere.
• Pierce Brosnan and Edna Mole are no Rob Lowe and Snow White
• Adam Duritz felt that a wacky blue outfit and gross obesity would preserve his artistic integrity in the face of Shrek 2. Sadly wrong.
• Just before the show comes back from commercial, a stagehand always darts from the stage. Sometimes just after.
• My love for Kate Winslet is deep and burning, and long, and so, so deep. And long. And burning.
• Having the nominees stand up on stage wasn’t as bad as I thought. Giving them the awards in their seats was worse than anyone even imagined.
• Sean Penn was molested in the green room, hastily dressed, and shoved suddenly on stage to present.
• Hilary Swank bought J-Lo’s superlow dress, dyed it purple, and then put it on backwards.
• In the shortest dude competition, third place goes to Martin ‘Nonno’ Scorcesi, second is Charlie Kaufman; Prince takes the prize--you're elevator shoes aren't fooling anyone.
• Julia Roberts is clearly still breast-feeding the twins.
• Sarah will kick my ass in every Oscar pool. Always has, always will.
• All red carpet shows are crap and should only ever be broadcast with the song Popcorn in place of any live audio. Nobody seems to know how to use a microphone and the hosts are always introducing strangers to one another as if magic will suddenly happen. Someone on CNN introduced Catalina Sandino Moreno, star of Maria Full of Grace, to P. Diddy. And boy did hilarity ensue!
• Sarah confirms that, while Beyonce can’t speak French, she can sing Giberish like nobody’s business.
• No one told Orlando Bloom that if he just dug deep enough in the rental bag, he would have found a tie in there somewhere.
• Pierce Brosnan and Edna Mole are no Rob Lowe and Snow White
• Adam Duritz felt that a wacky blue outfit and gross obesity would preserve his artistic integrity in the face of Shrek 2. Sadly wrong.
• Just before the show comes back from commercial, a stagehand always darts from the stage. Sometimes just after.
• My love for Kate Winslet is deep and burning, and long, and so, so deep. And long. And burning.
• Having the nominees stand up on stage wasn’t as bad as I thought. Giving them the awards in their seats was worse than anyone even imagined.
• Sean Penn was molested in the green room, hastily dressed, and shoved suddenly on stage to present.
• Hilary Swank bought J-Lo’s superlow dress, dyed it purple, and then put it on backwards.
• In the shortest dude competition, third place goes to Martin ‘Nonno’ Scorcesi, second is Charlie Kaufman; Prince takes the prize--you're elevator shoes aren't fooling anyone.
• Julia Roberts is clearly still breast-feeding the twins.
• Sarah will kick my ass in every Oscar pool. Always has, always will.
Comments
Do YOU think Rock was nervous? Hell Yeah.
And I totally noticed Julia's jiggle too. Good for her!
It seems like I only remember sporadic seemingly random events from the oscars. Funnier this way.