Touch You Last

Apartment 613 - A blog maintained by a bunch of local folks who write about interesting goings on in the city of Ottawa. I found this while running down the directory of Ottawa bloggers listed on Ottawa Start one day, and of the twenty or so sites I got through, Apt 613 is the only one I've been frequenting. I like this site for a lot reasons: because it's updated all the time , because it's fun to see something featured (food/drink/event) that I'm familiar with, and—-most of all-—because they feature a ton of stuff I didn't have a clue about. This might come as a shock to some of you, but I'm not as hip as you think I am. /film - I've been a follower of Ain't It Cool News for as long as I can remember having internet access, and while I used to love that site it has since gone to shit. There's either nothing new, or there are fifteen people reviewing the same movie, or if you're lucky maybe it's DVD column time--with it's token r...

Have you ever thought, "I wish someone would make a Spiderman game where Spiderman swings around the city with a broken neck? " If that's not enough for you, you also have the option of playing pretty much the exact same thing, but to the tune of "Black Betty. " Disparaging remarks aside, I'm totally addicted to this. Thanks for the link, J .

Sarah alerted me to the fact that I misspelled Nickelback in my Sucks/Rocks post . I felt dumb, but for ever so briefly because it is Nickelback after all and who really gives a shit anyways. (Wendy is going to smack me in the mouth the next time I see her.) Then I shook off the dumb and rejoiced, because I figured I could do another search and they’d be sitting in their rightful place, somewhere above death by self-immolation but below unidentified yellow discharge. Sadly: this was totally not the case. [Insert graphic of Suck/Rocks Nickelback rating here. For the time being, you'll just have to trust me that they come in around 8.4 or so. We performed the search the other day, but I've tried it today (about eight minutes ago) and the site is still thinking about it. I think it's going, "That can't be right. Must rerun search. It's the same?!? Re-run! Wha? Run again. Again! AGAIN!"] What can I say? There’s no accounting for th...

Welcome to my current obsession: Sucks/Rocks . It’s a site that determine whether something rocks or sucks. Beautiful in its simplicity, isn’t it? You enter your search term—say, Peanut Butter Cups—and the site will search for all instances of positive phrase relating to your term versus negative phrases relating to your term (‘Peanut Butter Cups are wicked!’ as opposed to ‘I can’t stand me no goddamn Peanut Butter Cups!’) It then takes these positive and negative hits, factors in some complicated maths, and comes back with a ranking from 0 to 10, with 0 being a black hole of sucking, and 10 being something that rocks more than anything that has every rocked before. One-off searches are fun, but it’s the comparisons that make things really interesting. Here are a few I tried earlier today: Let’s analyze the results. You’re probably as surprised as I am by Nickleback ’s standing. I’d certainly have placed them as sucking more than hippies but less than diarrhea , however, the mass majo...

Yeah, so I went underground for a few weeks. What’s the big deal? You’re not paying me. You’re not the boss of me. Damn, I can’t keep up this tough talk! I love you, and I missed you too. Now that that’s cleared up, some random updates: Facebook is the best and greatest thing ever. I was afraid it was just MySpace with a different name (which—largely—it is), but what makes it so wicked is that everyone I’ve ever met seems to have joined. I’ve connected with people I long though (nay, hoped) were dead. (That's a lie. I’m actually really glad to have reconnected with everyone I’ve found so far). Join up. You won’t be sorry. Unless you hate everyone you used to know. Then, never mind. We’re driving a Matrix these days because an oil change place wrecked the Protégé. I stopped into Georgetown last weekend to see my family, had some time to kill, and so went to a place my Dad recommended for an oil change. Well, after the oil change kid finished...

And finally, the best links I’ve stumbled across or been sent over the past couple of days: Words Oldest Blogger – Writes his posts in longhand , then mails it to his computer-saavy relatives who post it for him . -- Props - Boing Boing The 10 Most Dangerous Toys of All Time -- props - Adam The Year in Media Errors and Corrections -- Props - kottke Great Moments in Pissed Off Performers Walking Off Stage – The Nickleback story is killer . -- Props - Me

I really can't stop playing this . Somebody please help me. Work, food, and personal hygeine have all been cast aside.

Censors Stand On Guard For Canada Sarah brought this one to my attention last night. Hilarious stuff. Kudos to The Smoking Gun .

Less Popular Game Show Catchphrases - from those clever bastards at McSweeneys .

Yes, I’m still around, but I don’t have much to say. Feeling lazy. Feeling particularly union these days. I think we bloggers get sluggish in the warmer months. I’ve got a big-ass vacation coming up, and also Armada ’s launch (June 10), but for the moment there’s not a lot going on. Instead, I’ll draw your attention to funny and amusing things that I can claim no responsibility for. Reasons Not to Fear the Reaper - from McSweeney’s A letter from Britney - from the girls at Go Fug Yourself Kris’s vacation recap (You're missing out if you're not clicking the links) - at Not a Girl, Not Yet a Wino Ceiling cat (marginally NSFW) - link courtesy of Omar Pamie addresses her foot stalker - by Pamie

Check it. "Happy Valentine's Day, Mom," might be the best poem I've ever read.

Alright folks, we’re out of here for a week, away on the most timely and well-deserved vacation in our entire lives (feels that way, anyway.) We’ll return as bronze gods reeking of rum in a week’s time. Some items of note: The What are You Reading thread is alive and kicking, though overly dominated by Bill and a Handsome Stranger . Let’s get some estrogen in there, eh This is very fucking funny. This too . I have no discuss amongst yourselves question on the way for Monday (and no energy to create one now). If you want to make one up, then you go. You run with that. We love you all but we won't think of you for one solitary second for at least the next eight days. Don’t rob us while we’re gone. Dave & Sarah

This comes out later than intended, but here it is either way. Kris , generous soul, recently posted her best of 2005 entry, which actually featured links to other people’s blogs (otherwise know as OPB. Ask Kris, are you down with OPB , and she’ll respond, yeah, you know me. ) Now I’m too lazy and self-absorbed to pull something like that off, so here’s what I’ve got instead. The best of me For better or worse, happy or sad, these are the entries I’ve written in the past year that I like the most: What’s it all about, Davie? Roont Here’s a Little Song for Everybody out There Wherein I’m a Drunken Lout For the love of God, kids, don’t do drugs! And especially don’t shout at the devil! Behold my skull! You look like that guy Wednesday Movie: Rebel Without a Cause Wednesday Movie: All About Eve Highlights from out trip to Michigan, Part 1 & 2 Yes, Virginia, a Bear Does Shit in the Woods I grow Old... I grow old A complex phrase, in which the various parts are enchained Our trip t...

Jorge pointed me to The Incredible Hulk's blog A camel-toed exhibitionist shows off his Tron costume A Spiderman fan has way too much free time And Doctor Doom is running for Homecoming King

I'm very busy at work, and so, not around much these days. Bill Snowden is on the move. The ancient art of fan fiction is alive and well. A thirteen year-old Shaun Hatton wrote the best sci-fi you'll ever read . The 2005 MTV Video Music Awards made for very bad television, but very good comedy . The year 1984 didn't turn out anything like the book promised it would . And while I always thought it was two, in turns out that my magic number is three . Back in a bit.

Coming soon: why turning thirty is worse then getting the clap. For now, here are a few things that made my day a very good one. 1) A post from Plaintive Wail . 2) A peculiar Bono falling through space site. (Only for those of you with Firefox. Well, I can't make it work in Explorer, anyways.) 3) McSweeney's goodness . 4) Poor Michael Bay .

It’s Friday, so you can’t rightfully demand I do anything creative. Instead, I’ll depend upon the kindness of strangers. Enjoy the following. Best Headline Ever – This one has been linked all over the place. If you haven’t seen it yet, welcome back from the coma. Genius From McSweeney’s – Speaks for itself, I think. 50 50 in 50 – Wherein some guy drinks, you guessed it, fifty Labatt’s 50 in fifty hours. Persevere—it picks up around beer eighteen or so. The colophon of Michael Chabon’s website – Fun and informative. I come back here often to see if he has updated, and when I see that he hasn’t (which is always) I die a little inside. More from McSweeney’s – Lists! Let’s go with one , two , three of them. ENJOY I SAID!

I’ve got no new content for you; I’ll give you that up front. Don’t get all up in my grill about it because neither do you. Trust me, I’ve checked. Everyone is in vacation mode these days and no one is posting, which means I’m actually stuck doing work while I’m at work—sort or unprecedented. In lieu of new stuff, I give you a series of links that I’ve enjoyed the hell out of lately. Kevin Smith’s Blog – Dude gives an unfiltered glimpse into his day-to-day life, focusing more on the minutia (where he ate, how he had sex with his wife—and I do mean how ) than on the bigger events (movies in development, brushes with glitterati). Go Fug Yourself – If you like to see more fashion missteps then there are stairs in the world, check this out. I’m not into fashion but I am into snark, and here I can glut myself with all the snark my belly can take. MetaSpy – Allows you to spy on what people have been searching the web for. In case you haven’t guessed it, people surf for some stupid sh...

I can't believe how many books in this series I never got to.

While this doesn't provide any new content, it's a fresh way to look at the old content, courtesy of Gizoogle . Better than nothing. More to come soon. Click away.