Touch You Last

Third Question: Have you seen the 40 Year-Old Virgin , and if so, do you agree that it is in fact the funniest movie of all time ?

Second Question: Do you have any suggestions for next year's movie marathon ?

I'm feeling like I've slacked off on these lately, so it's make up time. First Question: What was your greatest performance of all time? It could be that time you played Rumtumtugger in a high school production of Cats , or it could be that time you convinced your boss that you're a valuable employee even though it was dirty, dirty lie.

I thought I had more, but there are only two that come to mind, and they both have to do with Au Bar : In Frommers – Here’s the description of Au Bar that we read after-the-fact in Frommers: “An address is unnecessary for Au Bar; the long Seymour Street line of those not-quite-beautiful-enough for expedited entry immediately gives it away. Inside, this newest of downtown bars is packed with beautiful people milling from bar to dance floor to bar (there are two) and back again. Observing them is like watching a nature documentary on the Discovery Channel: Doe-like women prance and jiggle while predatory men roam in packs, flexing pecs and biceps. To maintain some form of natural order, black-clad bouncers scan the room like game wardens, searching the horizon for trouble in paradise.” After reading it, Beth response was, “It’s like whoever wrote that was there with us that night!” Gay-for-pay – This is the best new phrase I’ve heard all year. While urbandictionary likes the more litera...

Monday morning, Beth declared, “My neck doesn’t hurt anymore. We’ve found the cure for ARM: no more A!” We’d made plans to meet up with Sarah’s friends, Etienne and Eve, and after running into one closed restaurant after another, we ended up at Kitsilano Sushi . It was fast-food sushi, but dirt cheap. I ordered a small saki and make a very important discovery. Just guess what that discovery was. It was somewhat sunny out (the only sunny day we ended up having), so we decided to try out luck and go to Stanley Park . The park was formerly military land until it was donated to the city by Lord Stanley—then Governor General; also He of Stanley Cup fame. He was also the one who named the park—‘Stanley Park’ winning out over tough choices like ‘I’m the Shit Park’ and ‘Bitches Think Generosity is Sexy Park’. We walked the Seawall , which is a 10K jaunt that wraps around the park, and it kept us busy for two and a half hours. During this time, we defied numerous "Construction Ahead! Seawa...

Saturday was somewhat ugly weather-wise, so we thought we’d take in a movie. We picked up our tickets for a late afternoon show and then walked a few blocks down to Gastown , which is a little bit skeeze, but also fun, and not nearly as flatulent as I’d hoped/feared. We took the traditional tourist picture next to the steam clock, saw the fake CN Tower and the fake Sydney Opera House , then stopped at the Steamworks Brew Pub for lunch. The after effects of Au Bar left us with sour stomachs, and despite having sworn off beer for the day only three hours prior, if you’re in a brewpub, it makes the baby Jesus cry if you don’t drink a beer ( especially on Easter). Our waiter is sub-par, but the food is very good. It also ends up being the only real meal we have that day. Our movie is The Wild , which Beth’s brother-in-law Chris worked on. It’s a cute film and it looks amazing. I haven’t seen Madagascar —the Dreamworks rushjob knockoff of The Wild —but the difference in the quality of the...

On Thursday, we continued the lazy late-afternoon starts that have become our habit. It was rainy (in Vancouver? Crazy talk, I know,) so we opted for something indoorsy: the Museum of Anthropology at UBC . It’s a beautiful structure, and just so happened to be featured in the ‘Ten Hot-Shit Architectural Structures’ article we read in our Air Canada magazine on the way over. Had I a brain, I would have brought the USB cord to my camera and saved myself from stupid, time-consuming description—but then I remembered that there’s this crazy thing called the internet, and I don’t have to do nothin’! Photos of the museum can be found here , here , and here (warning for you poor bastards on dial up: this last one’s a big-un). Highlights included a live carving display by artist-in-residence Lyle Wilson, the visible storage (rather than mothballing most of the collection, the museum keeps things open to the public and students through a system of drawers and glass cabinetry), and The Rav...

We're on out way out for a full day this morning, so they'll be no content-heavy update today. It's certainly worth noting, however, that I've made a slight template change. Doppelganger, over at 50 Books , has given Touch You Last and Armada many a shout-out. I've never returned the favour sufficiently, so to ensure she gets the attention and the thanks that she deserves, I've adjusted her link on my sidebar accordingly.

I wanted to link to the website of the place where we had lunch, but the Hell’s Kitchen site is down. Fortunately, the good foodies of Vancouver have provided alternate sources of dining information . While I though both the meal and the restaurant itself were great, I’m wrong, and I also have bad taste. Here’s JR’s thoughts on the place: “ Vancouver people are so shallow they have to go to those joints like fukking Hell's Kitchen to look and act cool BUT they obviously are not cool to begin with. Just a bunch of sore losers and posers!! (bolding is not mine). It looks like the Discover Vancouver boards are frequented by the same folks that hang out at Ain’t It Cool News . We went to a Canucks game last night, which was fantastic despite a terrible overtime loss. I’m only just stepping my toe into this whole hockey phenomenon, so consider my insights suspect, but it seems to me that Canucks fans love and hate their team equally. The love is no surprise, but when their team fails ...

So our Monday night trivia team—Banana Stand—finally won. That’s right, folks: celebrate good times—come on! We took first place by only half a point, but a win is a win and that’s all that matters. At the end of the day, The Wirecrats couldn’t stop us, E. Jack Layton couldn’t stop us, and Stephen Hawking’s Football Shoes couldn’t stop us. W00T! as the kids say. In other news, I’m in Vancouver right now, hanging out at Beth’s place, which is wicked. We’ve been here less than a day, so we haven’t really explored the city yet, but Beth tells me that it’ll be my kind of place navigation-wise. In one direction you’ve got big-ass mountains, and in another there’s the big-ass Pacific. Beth, like me, requires mammoth landmarks to get her bearings. Whenever I travel, I always do the same thing: I always promise that this time I’ll read up on whatever city/country/democratic-republic-of we’re headed to before we get there. I’ll learn all the landmarks, the history, maybe a few colourfu...

Sarah: Baby, here’s your gitch. Dave: Wicked. I love underwear! It keeps my junk from touching my nice pants.

I made an open call for more V-inspired art, and only one man was brave enough to take me up on it. Witness: Jorge , totally outclassing me with his artpad skills. And the last; less inclusive then the others but fun all the same--Van Shatton ! To witness the artist at work, just follow this link . If you’re suddenly inspired to create your V-related art, send it and I’ll post it.

The Armada website is up, and we are now something akin to a legitimate enterprise. The submission info and the contact e-mail have both been updated, so do check that out. In light of this: we know that you're working away on a story for us, so how's that coming, and when can we expect to see it?