“Barry,” my cousin Mike said, “I think it’s time.” It was clear that my brother didn’t feel the same way, but he only shrugged, which Mike took as agreement. “Dave,” he said, giving the words as much gravity as he could muster, “Go get the dictionary.” I was nine years old, and a tag-along. I’d walked in on my brother telling a story about how—during school that morning—a girl he knew got her period in the middle of French class. And I laughed like the dickens. And then they called me on it. After I’d lugged the dictionary down from the spare room, Mike told me to look up the word period and read out the definition. “The end of a cycle, a series of events, or a single action?” “Keep going,” he said. “The full pause with which a sentence closes?” “Not that.” “An interval of geologic—“ “Gimme that!” He yanked the book towards him, read down the page, and pointed me towards the definition he’d found. Menstruation: the monthly discharge of blood from the uterus of nonpregnant women from pu...
Comments
I don't have one favourite.
There is the good ol' standby:
Fuck
Used in moments of pain, and disappointment.
Also used for disappointment:
Cruddler (Stolen from The Simpsons
Shite (Stolen from the UK)
Crapola
You would probably know better than I what I say. I can't actually hit my hand with a hammer to find out what I scream at my new office...
Fuckass...this is totally Donnie Darko style, but I am convinced I thought of it first.
Cuntbastard...figure that one out.
Shitfuck...this one especially makes me feel that I have Tourette's syndrome. Sorry for any misspellings.
Have a fantabulous day. I think this is all a bit ricockulous.
Asshat?
And the ever-popular and obscure...
Ass-Cube?
Napoleon Dynamite also added to my list of cursing, but that list is nowhere near as foul as Katie's....
And who could ever forget the ever-popular...
WTF, Sensei?
As in
"You fuck, you Faggot-Fuck."
I sure did.
.
.
There's nothing there, you know...
My current favourites include "Muffin" (said with a french accent, it started as a term of condescension, but I have now generalized it as a sub for fuck), "ahhhh horseshit" (usually when things don't go my way), "wanker" (used towards people), "merde" (french for shit, usually under my breath)..hmm, this list is running embarrassingly long. I think I'll stop there.
Another popular one around my house is "dickfag" (I believe Dave (Simpson, not McLean)'s brother came up with that one originally) and, more along the lines of Katie-style swearing, I like "cuntface" and "cunt breath."
My favourite swear phrase is stolen from Love Actually:
Fuck-wank-bugger-shitting-arse-head-and-hole
(But I've never managed to get it all out without laughing.)
Or Cock Juggling Thundercunt?
(I stole that last one from Ryan Reynolds.)
fuckity-fuck-fuck
and
motherfucker (or emmer effer in polite company)
Urban Dictionary is also a great resource for those in need of creative and/or obscure obscenities.