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Yeah, so… about last night

For those of you who’ve already read and were wildly confused by the many posts from last night, here’s some explanation. Our friends Leanne and Derek were in town last night. Close to midnight I realized I hadn’t put up a post yet, so I started writing a quick ‘woo! I kicked NaBloPoMo’s ass’ entry. I stepped away to get a drink (one of many) and came back to find that Leanne hijacked my entry. Then we did a little back and forth posting which we thought was hilarious—problem being, spread out over multiple posts and appearing the opposite order it was written, it made zero sense. So I’ve deleted the older entries and pasted everything into one entry. I’ve thought about outlining exactly who wrote what, but I think that’s more or less evident. (Okay, I will say that everything after 11:52 is not me.)


11:23 PM
Really quick post to say: I did it! YEAH, ME! what did you do dave? Did you post? HUH? DID YA!? Also, I did eat A LOT of cookies today. ALSO, I did wear womens panties today. Just for a moment. Does that class me as 'different'?? Love makes me fat.

Love
Dave


11:28 PM
Okay, so that's what happens when you have a post, and then you walk away, and then some jackass named Leanne steals your computer and tells everyone THE TRUTH. And then, when you say, "One more," she's all, "I'm not made of what I used to be. I'm old. And sometimes I go to the bathroom in my pants."



Lame.


11:31 PM
And THEN he gives you the computer and encourages you to write more.

LAME

However, one more sounds better when it is followed by at least 5 more. I know he isn't going to go that far. Chicken or go Dave. Chicken or go.


11:32 PM
INAPPROPRIATE. Chicken or go meant a VERY DIFFERENT THING when I was your age. You know: twelve. Or whatever the hell you are.

Anyhow, I really do mean just one more. Because any more than that and I'll get the booze sweats and Sarah will make me sleep on the couch. Although I think I've already reach the point of no return. So: GIVE'R.

11:44 PM
YOU have to work tomorrow DAVE. You are NOT young anymore. You won't bounce back and you WILL get the drink sweats. EW.

Now, if you were hip and young you would bring out a tray of shots and talk about how this is the pre drinking ritual. THEN you would call a cab and take us to the peeeelers. THEN you would take us out to 'fancy' eating establishment and get some 'to go' food. THEN we would come back to your place and have 'one more'. THEN pass out.

Get real Dave. You won't have 'one more', yet you WILL pass out...cuz you are old and need sleep.

LAME.

Love
Leanne.
Xoxxoxoxo


11:52 PM
Hey there, Sunshine. Hey, Pansy. What's that sitting there? A shot. Whassamatter? You scared? I think maybe you're a little scared. Don't make me have all these shots by myself. Think of my wife. Think of MY CHILD. Drink it for Teddy, cause that's what I'm doing.


11:57 PM
I DO see them. I DO. I am sorta....my mouth watering...

Do I need to use my hands?
Can I get my mouth around that? Or do I only put half of that in my mouth and suck it back?

I feel...like a virgin. It has been such a long time since...well...the last time I did this.

OH BABY!

3 shots....all mine???!!

DEREK!! NOOO MINE!! DAVE? Ok wait for me!


12:03 AM
mmmmmmmmmmmmm good.

lizard.

What?

Bed.


12:18 AM
So...camera and drunk equals GREAT pictures!! MOVIES even!!!

OH I am fat! DELETE! NOW!!

Fat not me.

DELETE

DELETE!!!

Dave...sit down...you will never make good movies.

sorry.

WAIT.

You are having a good time, you get attacked by monsters...then you die.
ACTION!

That is a wrap

Comments

Dave said…
Oh, and in case it wasn't clear: we were very, very drunk.
Anonymous said…
This makes a lot more sense now.

*backs away slowly*
Rebecca said…
I was afraid that the stress of having to post everyday had finally broken you. Good to hear it was only the booze.
Anonymous said…
Dave, after 30 days of blog postings, you can't just stop now! I'm in Touch You Last withdrawal!!
Jay said…
Booze sweats? Really?

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