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To make up for a lack of action around these parts, I offer the first of many micro-posts that will appear tonight.

Have we all listened to Do They Know It's Christmas lately? I mean listened to the words? I'd always thought "Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears" was far and away the most overwrought, song-spoiling line in the song, but only just the other day, I heard what followed: "And the only bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of DOOM!" Who fucking wrote that bit? Sting? I blame Sting.
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Mark Hand said…
Come on, be serious. In the video, when Sting gets all serious and sings his own name...his own name. Come on. I mean, come on.

The only things better in the video are:

1. Bono really givin'er.
2. Bananarama's suspenders between their legs.
3. Phil Collins givin'er on the drums.
4. Sir Geldof looking all cool and relaxed.
5. George Michael looking like he's asking "what the hell am I doing here, I'm in Wham for Christ's sake."
6. All of Duran Duran completely unaware of that their 15 minutes are soon up, even if those 15 minutes did last a few years and involved getting so bored shagging female fans that they started shagging one another just for something different. (Okay, I'm guessing at that last bit but it seems like a perfectly credible theory to me.)
7. ...come to think of it, everything about that video is better than Sting singing, but still...it's his own name.

And it beats the shit out of that Northern Lights song any day.
9:11 pm
Anonymous said…
What about that emotionally manipulative song about the shoes for the dying woman? I find that one hard to listen to for more than a few seconds.
10:28 pm
Anonymous said…
I hate this song. They made us sing it in Grade School for an assembly, which only served to bring even more of my attention to the song.

They won't get snow in Africa this Christmas...

That's a great line. Because we all know it snows in Africa all the fucking time.

I know that it was well-meaning, but seriously, not everyone in the world celebrates Christmas.
10:18 am
Beth said…
You better not let JWo hear you speaking ill of Sting...
4:51 pm
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