Top Moments in Television (11 – 15)

15. Family Guy: Season Three, “Breaking Out is Hard to Do”
The Scene: After enjoying the thrill of stealing something, Lois becomes a hard-core kleptomaniac. Brian encourages her to return all the things she’s taken, and while they’re loading up the van, he suggests that she should see a counsellor. “You know, he really helped Peter out when he was obsessed with that fantasy world of his,” Brian says. Cut to…
Why it’s great: Your mileage may vary on this one, but it makes me laugh every time I see it. (And I’ve seen it about 80 times. AND I’ve never even seen The Neverending Story.)
Clip: YEAH!


14. OZ: Season Four, “You Bet Your Life”
The Scene: A corrupt Em City administrator has struck a deal with Adebisi, offering him whatever he’d like (drugs, AV equipment?) in exchange for his assurance that there’ll be no more murders. Adebisi keeps his promise, but this puts the entire unit under his thumb, and he’s getting away with anything short of murder. To put an end to things, Said finds video footage of one of Adebisi’s drug-infused parties and delivers it to the warden. Adebisi discovers this betrayal, drags Said into his pod, and the two struggle over control of a shank. From outside the pod, the other inmates hear shouts and see a blood-soaked body collapse against the door.
Why it’s great: For those fifteen seconds where you know one of them has died, but you’re not sure who. And there’s no good outcome! Either Oz’s best villain or Oz’s best ‘hero’ has died.
Clip: Obviously, this one’s a spoiler.


13. Kids in the Hall: Season Two, “Business Suit Trappers”
The Sketch: Dave Foley and Scott MacDonald row their canoe through an office building—as coureurs du bois, hunting and trapping business folk. A hard day’s work nets “Perry Ellis and many, many Armani.”
Why it’s great: Because it’s so ridiculous. I can’t imagine the evolution of this sketch. And in it, you see the similarities between the British and Canadian senses of humour. If the Pythons were Canadian, they’d have written this sketch.
Clip: Yup


12. The West Wing: Season Two, “Shibboleth”
The story: C.J. walks into her office to find two huge turkeys running around. It seems that it’s an annual tradition for the President to pardon a turkey before Christmas, and it’s the press secretary’s job to decide whether “Derek” or “Troy” is more photogenic. After some deliberation, which includes testing the turkeys with flash photography to make sure they won’t wig out in front of the press, C.J. makes her decision, and the President performs the ceremonial pardoning. A short time later, C.J. discovers that the non-pardoned turkey will get slaughtered, so she rushes to the president for a second pardoning. “Why do I have to pardon another turkey? Didn’t I do it right the first time?” C.J. simply insists that he has to do it again. “Aren't I going to get a reputation for being soft on turkeys?" the President replies.
Why it’s great: No one writes convincing super-intelligent characters like Aaron Sorkin. And while I enjoy the scenes of well-informed, incensed politicos having it out, I really love when he makes really smart people deal with really stupid shit.
Clip: Unfortunately, no.

11. Deadwood: Season One, “Bullock Returns to Camp”
The scene: Al Swearengen has been trying to screw the Widow Garret out of a piece of land he knows to be ridden with gold. Seth Bullock, looking out for the widow’s interests, meets with Al at his tavern to discuss the claim. He wants Swearengen to personally nominate someone to assess the land, so if there’s any kind of messing about, he can hold Al responsible. Swearengen says he has nothing to do with it and therefore wants nothing to do with it. Seth says, “I know what you’re trying to do with her. She gets a fair shake, or I’m coming for you.” “What if I come for you?" Swearengen says. "Are you ready for that? Because being ready for me will take care of all your waking hours, and you’d better have someone to hand the task off to when you close your fuckin' eyes."
Why it’s great: These two ferocious guys come face to face, make the clearest of threats, and neither of them is backing down. Great setup for an ugly rivalry that I can only assume goes on throughout the show. (I’ve only seen most of the first season, and I’m trying not to spoil anything for myself; although rumour has it that there’s a eye-gouging and blank-beating scene in the current season that would probably take over the number eleven spot if I’d seen it.)
Clip: Sadly, no.