Touch You Last

I'm in mBar in Helsinki as I right this. We just finished a quick tour of the city by bus and foot, led by our fearless tour guide (Sarah). Checked out three churches, the names of which I cannot reproduce without some kind of documentation. Lots of diphthongs. Lots of umlauts. Tomorrow we're off to Russia, and dealing with our second time change in two days. Along with another previous time change and the flight over, we're officially eight hours behind you folks. I feel like I should say something more meaningful here, but this keyboard is killing me. And also, I didn't come to Finland for their Internet.

Ladies and gentlemen, We here at touchyoulast are officially on summer hiatus. Don’t stop tuning in though; rather then just show reruns, our timeslot will be used by a new buddy cop drama staring Rob Van Winkle and Dave Coulier called “Coulier as Ice.” Actually, we’re off on the vacation of a lifetime—our second this year. Where are we going? I’ll let you know when I get there. I’ve had my head full of work and Armada over the past few weeks, and although I’ve been given the itinerary for our trip seventeen times, I’ve forgotten it every single time. It’s a cruise, and I think it goes something like this: London Russia Sweden Denmark Kazakhstan Transylvania Constantinople If I’ve got that wrong, Sarah will correct me. We’ll be back in July. In the meantime, keep me abreast of what’s going on in the world. I’d like to have a complete list of famous people deaths and celebrity breakups to get me u...

The inaugural issue of Armada is here, and it’s phenomenal. It looks and reads better than I ever could have hoped, and I’m ridiculously, embarrassingly proud of it. And let me recommend Bill to you as the best partner you could have in an enterprise like this. We make a surprisingly good partnership: he brings style, I bring anal retentive tendencies. Together, we’re a smash. I can’t sell our first issue any better than it sells itself, so check it out as soon as you can. We’re also going to ask you a favour. Can you please, please spread the word. Send the link to your friends, or better still, link us on your own blog. Do this, and we’ll be best friends forever. Seriously. Every subsequent e-mail from me to you will end Cheers, Dave P.S. You & Me r BFF! You can’t buy that kind of love.

Less Popular Game Show Catchphrases - from those clever bastards at McSweeneys .

This past weekend, we hit several of the sites participating in Doors Open Ottawa , which is an event where buildings of architectural significance and places that generally aren’t open to the public—you guessed it—throw open their doors to the sweaty, unwashed masses. For Doors Open Elsewhere , check in with Jay . Our first stop was the Algerian Embassy which is at the east end of our street. For those of you who don’t know our neighbourhood (I’ll see you at next year’s Movie Marathon), Sandy Hill is an area filled with old homes and embassies. The Algerian Embassy is a gorgeous building with marble floors and columns, red tile roof, and a huge garden. It put most of the buildings that followed to shame. (And this is where my knowledge of architecture falls short. I should be able to say something somewhat insightful here, but all I’ve got it; pretty !) It was down the road to Laurier House next, former home to two prime ministers: William Lyon Mackenzie King, and buddy on th...

At the end of X-Men: The Last Stand , something occured to me. It's a bit of a spoiler, so I'll go with invisible text. (Highlight to read.) Fair enough, she wanted to get it on with Bobby, but why take the cure when all she had to do was invite that bald kid in for a three way?

And now, a shout-out to our friend Leanne; a shout-out that is totally out of the blue , by the way. The picture I really wanted to post--the one that involves chess and booze and noses--is nowhere to be found on my hard drive. Leanne, if you happen to have that one tucked away somewhere, please send it so I can post that as well. This one is just after Sarah had moved back from University, and Leanne graced our little Georgetown with a visit. Also: this is the only time two girls were ever in my room at the same time when one of them wasn't my mom. Here's a shot from Sarah's bachelorette party in Vancouver. Rumour has it that Leanne was smacking asses with that wand throughout the night. You can also see half of Swill's face, partly obscured by Beth's mighty forearm. Speaking of Beth and Vancouver, we failed to post any shots of our last trip here, so I'll make up for that now. We're at the Canucks game here, and this was when our spirits were still high (b...

Yesterday--clearly--I had nothing. Today: looking just as grim. But rather than break my pledge, I'll just chuck a few pictures up. They have nothing in common, other than the fact that they amuse me. Me and Blaine, back in The Great War. We were dishonorably discharged right after this was taken. It's so rare for these two to get along that when they have the odd moment--grooming each other or spooning--we go a bit camera nuts. SportsWorld Park in Kitchener with KC and Swill. Speaks for itself, I think. My niece, Rachael. I have no idea why we took these pictures, but I'm pretty sure we weren't actually that bored. The single best photo my parents have ever taken.