Touch You Last

Where have I been? Working mostly, otherwise pinning for the good old days on the high seas. Winter has finally started to suck. I held it at bay for as long as I could by chronically under-dressing. Those of you that disbelieve in the magical powers my near-nudity have over the forces of nature: screw off. You’re making me lose faith in myself. A Wednesday Movie will come a little later in the week, dedicated to Brady. If it actually appears on Wednesday, that could only mean I’ve called in sick for work. Otherwise, something else is in the works that I’m very excited about, but that won’t be announced until this weekend at the earliest. Can you stand the suspense? No, you can’t.

Have you ever sent anonymous hate mail? How about an anonymous love letter?

So, is work sucking for everyone right now? Say yes.

Day 5 – Thursday 3 – At Sea Thursday Morning, we laze about, watching probably our fourth AFI special. (The TV programming on this ship is practically tailor-made for us: AFI Specials ( Best Villains , Best Romances , Songbook ), old episodes of Alias and Friends, movie channels—not that we watched that much TV.) We have a late breakfast, a no-good trip to the casino, then I head topside for my chess rematch with North Carolina Mike. Dude plays a great game; nothing is left undefended and I can’t take a single piece of his without losing two of mine. I lose, of course, but I hold him off for a while . Sarah tells me that around the hour mark, one of the kids watching whines, “ How long does a game of chess take? ” … Later on in the sanctuary, there’s a robe swapping incident. While I’m in the sauna, some guy takes my robe (with my locker key in it.) I steal someone else’s and run to the front desk to get a second key. Robe Swapper shows up and I get my key back, but it turns out I’ve...

Day 3 – Monday – At Sea Because we can, we order breakfast on the balcony. I rediscover the fact that grapefruit is fucking terrible and anyone who says they like it are pretending (but for the love of Christ I can’t figure out why.) Sarah scored a book of great shopping vouchers on the last shopping talk, so she heads over for round two of it. I try the casino again, and experience some actual luck on a game called Leprechaun’s Gold. It’s fun, but highly obnoxious if you’re not the one playing. Every eight seconds, win or lose, the leprechaun starts talking smack. “Irish eyes are smiling, they are!” “I bet you’d know what to do with a shillelagh, don’t you?” “How about you expose yourself to Ireland?” I meet up with Sarah for morning trivia, which we win handily despite several dead weight pairs who join us in Bob and Andrea's absense. The prize: more water bottles, which we give away. Next, we head up to the Lido deck for a bite and a beer. We wander up to the sports area where...

Day 1 – Saturday – Fort Lauderdale Our flight is uneventful until just before we touch down, where the weather turns suddenly ugly. However, we push through some nausea-inducing turbulence and get on the ground (lucky for us; shortly after we’re down the airport shuts out all flights for the next several hours). We meet up with some employees from the cruise ship whose job it is to guide us to the proper shuttle, and one of these men has the most leathery skin I’ve seen on a human, alive or dead. Atop his neck is what could pass for an enormous orange scrotum. Regardless of his condition, he directs us where we need to go. Half an hour later we check into our room on Caribe deck (deck 10), which is more or less the same as our room was on our first cruise—with the exception of the kick-ass balcony we have this time around. We grab a quick bite and then join an arranged tour of the ship. This turns out to be over crowded and geared to the sept-, oct-, and nonagenarian crowd, so we bail ...

Check it. "Happy Valentine's Day, Mom," might be the best poem I've ever read.

Why do you blog?

Okay, so I’m not a bronze god. You can’t even call me swarthy (nor would I really want you too.) I look healthy, less pallid—and let’s not forget: fatter. If nothing else, when you get home after a cruise you’re generally cured of that whole ‘wanting to eat’ thing. I’m also over rum, for now. Sarah’s dad—who took turns with Sarah’s mom babysitting the boys in our absence—worked his magic on our wireless router, so I’m currently rocking the laptop from my couch right now and so very aroused by that fact, FYI. Probably Tuesday I’ll post some excepts from the cruise journal, once I’ve had the photos developed. It was amazing, and unlike the Med cruise we did for our honeymoon, actually relaxing. In numbers: Ports visited: 3 Ounces of rum consumed: 50. Inquiries about whether the pretty girl would like her hair braided: 17 Games of trivia won: 6 Number of travel alarm clocks won through trivia and other miscellaneous contests: 10 AFI 100 Years specials watched: 5 Times Don’t Tell Me Not to...

Alright folks, we’re out of here for a week, away on the most timely and well-deserved vacation in our entire lives (feels that way, anyway.) We’ll return as bronze gods reeking of rum in a week’s time. Some items of note: The What are You Reading thread is alive and kicking, though overly dominated by Bill and a Handsome Stranger . Let’s get some estrogen in there, eh This is very fucking funny. This too . I have no discuss amongst yourselves question on the way for Monday (and no energy to create one now). If you want to make one up, then you go. You run with that. We love you all but we won't think of you for one solitary second for at least the next eight days. Don’t rob us while we’re gone. Dave & Sarah

I still haven’t come to terms with the audacity it must have taken to make this movie. It was the forties, the country was at war, and Walt Disney produced a two hour cartoon that wasn’t aimed at children. Further, it was split into a number of sequences which, more often then not, told no discernable story. Lastly, it showcased classical music as much as it did animation. It tanked when it was released. Of course it did. No one in their right mind would make this movie intending to turn a profit. It’s the kind of thing you do for love. You figure that twenty years from now, maybe, hopefully, people will understand what you were trying to do and why. Not counting the opening piece which showcases the orchestra itself, there are six sequences: The Nutcracker Suite—featuring flowers, mushrooms, and other bits of nature coming to life and dancing; The Sorcerer’s Apprentice—the Mickey Mouse magic-gone-awry bit that’s most famous; The Rite of Spring—a hugely ambitious sequence that s...