10:00 am – We start Deliverance, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
10:05 am – Ronny Cox and Weird-Assed Looking Kid start playing "Dueling Banjos"." Less then five notes in, Isha begins laughing uncontrollably.
10:23 am – Isha – “What’s wrong with this kid?”
Jorge – “He can play the banjo with his mind.”
10:33 am – Team Deliverance makes camp for the night. While three of the men have actual tents, Burt Reynolds is lying on the hard-ass ground.
Isha – “Is that his tent? It’s just a sheet on a pole!”
Dave – “Burt Reynolds: Toughest man ever.”
The men all say goodnight. Burt doesn’t close his eyes, but gives a steely glare towards the sky.
Dave – “He doesn’t sleep. He only ever watches.”
Isha – “He’s like Chuck Norris.”
10:45 am – Squeeeeeeee!
All jokes stop. In fact, there’s no conversation for the next 20 minutes.
11:02 am - Dave – “I guess somebody had to play that character, but why would Ned Beatty accept this role? ‘Ned, it’s a great role. You get sodomized, and then the rest of the time everyone calls you Fatty.’”
Isha – “You’re career will skyrocket! Shooting star!”
11:15 am – Cathy arrives.
11:32 am – The boys make it through hell’s half acre. They arrive at a small pond, surrounded by wrecked cars. Jon Voight’s character is making sure everyone has the story straight.
Jon Voight - “Everything happened here, alright! Randy, you broke you’re leg right here. And this is where Ronny drowned…”
Jorge – “And Ned, that rock over there butt-fucked you.”
12:10 am – We start Superfly a little late. There’s really no dialogue and nothing happening, which gives us a good chance to break out the food.
12:39 pm – Isha – “I think white turtlenecks are a crime against humanity!”
12:50 pm – We witness the longest, slowest, grossest sex scene ever. Highlight comes when Superfly slips his tongue between his girlfriend’s fingers, eliciting a unanimous AwwwgghhhJesusGawwwwwdhedidn’tjustaawwwwghh!
1:02 pm – Jorge – “Is that the cop? What the hell is going on?”
Dave – “I think Cathy is the only one that knows what the hell this movie is about.”
Cathy – “I see where this is going. I don’t think he’s going to be able to retire.”
1:03 pm – A photo montage of people doing drugs begins. Honest to God, ten minutes later, the montage ends.
1:39 – We start Drugstore Cowboy.
2:19 – Either the movie is very good or we’ve run out of material because no one has talked in a while.
2:34 – There are a few rules to being a drugstore cowboy. Rule number one: never talk about dogs. Rule number two: never look at the back of a mirror. Rule number three: never ever put a hat on the bed.
Suggestions for next year’s marathon: Roadhouse, Dolemite (stupid not-available Dolemite), Ghostbusters, MASH…
2:46 – Jorge – “How come in every movie we watched so far, someone drives a Sandford and Son truck?"
2:47 – I realize that I’ve unintentionally put two movies back-to-back about people trying to change their lives. The difference being, Bob from Drugstore Cowboy wants to get clean and stop being a criminal, whereas Superfly wants “some time that’s not all fucked up with things to do.”
3:05 – Isha is the first to fall asleep, only three movies in. She’s out of the running for a small bottle of champagne Cathy brought for whoever stays up all night. Sarah, only partially participating, naps through the entire movie.
3:35 – We start Logan’s Run.
3:44 – Central to the movie is the concept that all residents of the domed city are put to death at age thirty. We witness a strange ceremony where those people having their thirtieth birthday gather together in their speed-skating unitards. The carousel they’re standing on begins to spin and the people begin floating towards the ceiling. When the reach the top of the room, they explode in a flash of sparks.
Cathy – “ That wouldn’t be so bad.”
10:05 am – Ronny Cox and Weird-Assed Looking Kid start playing "Dueling Banjos"." Less then five notes in, Isha begins laughing uncontrollably.
10:23 am – Isha – “What’s wrong with this kid?”
Jorge – “He can play the banjo with his mind.”
10:33 am – Team Deliverance makes camp for the night. While three of the men have actual tents, Burt Reynolds is lying on the hard-ass ground.
Isha – “Is that his tent? It’s just a sheet on a pole!”
Dave – “Burt Reynolds: Toughest man ever.”
The men all say goodnight. Burt doesn’t close his eyes, but gives a steely glare towards the sky.
Dave – “He doesn’t sleep. He only ever watches.”
Isha – “He’s like Chuck Norris.”
10:45 am – Squeeeeeeee!
All jokes stop. In fact, there’s no conversation for the next 20 minutes.
11:02 am - Dave – “I guess somebody had to play that character, but why would Ned Beatty accept this role? ‘Ned, it’s a great role. You get sodomized, and then the rest of the time everyone calls you Fatty.’”
Isha – “You’re career will skyrocket! Shooting star!”
11:15 am – Cathy arrives.
11:32 am – The boys make it through hell’s half acre. They arrive at a small pond, surrounded by wrecked cars. Jon Voight’s character is making sure everyone has the story straight.
Jon Voight - “Everything happened here, alright! Randy, you broke you’re leg right here. And this is where Ronny drowned…”
Jorge – “And Ned, that rock over there butt-fucked you.”
12:10 am – We start Superfly a little late. There’s really no dialogue and nothing happening, which gives us a good chance to break out the food.
12:39 pm – Isha – “I think white turtlenecks are a crime against humanity!”
12:50 pm – We witness the longest, slowest, grossest sex scene ever. Highlight comes when Superfly slips his tongue between his girlfriend’s fingers, eliciting a unanimous AwwwgghhhJesusGawwwwwdhedidn’tjustaawwwwghh!
1:02 pm – Jorge – “Is that the cop? What the hell is going on?”
Dave – “I think Cathy is the only one that knows what the hell this movie is about.”
Cathy – “I see where this is going. I don’t think he’s going to be able to retire.”
1:03 pm – A photo montage of people doing drugs begins. Honest to God, ten minutes later, the montage ends.
1:39 – We start Drugstore Cowboy.
2:19 – Either the movie is very good or we’ve run out of material because no one has talked in a while.
2:34 – There are a few rules to being a drugstore cowboy. Rule number one: never talk about dogs. Rule number two: never look at the back of a mirror. Rule number three: never ever put a hat on the bed.
Suggestions for next year’s marathon: Roadhouse, Dolemite (stupid not-available Dolemite), Ghostbusters, MASH…
2:46 – Jorge – “How come in every movie we watched so far, someone drives a Sandford and Son truck?"
2:47 – I realize that I’ve unintentionally put two movies back-to-back about people trying to change their lives. The difference being, Bob from Drugstore Cowboy wants to get clean and stop being a criminal, whereas Superfly wants “some time that’s not all fucked up with things to do.”
3:05 – Isha is the first to fall asleep, only three movies in. She’s out of the running for a small bottle of champagne Cathy brought for whoever stays up all night. Sarah, only partially participating, naps through the entire movie.
3:35 – We start Logan’s Run.
3:44 – Central to the movie is the concept that all residents of the domed city are put to death at age thirty. We witness a strange ceremony where those people having their thirtieth birthday gather together in their speed-skating unitards. The carousel they’re standing on begins to spin and the people begin floating towards the ceiling. When the reach the top of the room, they explode in a flash of sparks.
Cathy – “ That wouldn’t be so bad.”
Comments
"Suggestions for next year’s marathon: Roadhouse, Dolemite (stupid not-available Dolemite), Ghostbusters, MASH…"
CRIMETIME!!
Have fun watching Weekend at Bernie's II without me. Murrr.
Cue the uncontrollable laughter!
You guys sound like you're having a blast. Had I been there, I most certainly would have loaned you my wireless router.
Chuck Norris will have to kick your ass for that.
Kris - Indeed, we totally dropped the ball, and we didn't call you back when we said. Same time next year--you get the golden invite. It'll be called Sore Asses and Explosions--And All Because of Kris.
Rebecca - We thought I was just a tech idiot but it turns out that D-Link gave me a bogus modem. I'll put you on the VIP list for next year.
Reay - Thanks for the link. Had NO idea where that link originated.
I even left a message.
Dave is on Crack.
Hee-larious.
Peace out, fair homie.