“Barry,” my cousin Mike said, “I think it’s time.” It was clear that my brother didn’t feel the same way, but he only shrugged, which Mike took as agreement. “Dave,” he said, giving the words as much gravity as he could muster, “Go get the dictionary.” I was nine years old, and a tag-along. I’d walked in on my brother telling a story about how—during school that morning—a girl he knew got her period in the middle of French class. And I laughed like the dickens. And then they called me on it. After I’d lugged the dictionary down from the spare room, Mike told me to look up the word period and read out the definition. “The end of a cycle, a series of events, or a single action?” “Keep going,” he said. “The full pause with which a sentence closes?” “Not that.” “An interval of geologic—“ “Gimme that!” He yanked the book towards him, read down the page, and pointed me towards the definition he’d found. Menstruation: the monthly discharge of blood from the uterus of nonpregnant women from pu...
Comments
They cost $300 and I knew I would never wear them. But still, they were cool, and original. I would have been proud just to have them in my closet.
I didn't think I'd be buying anything.
I went into a used book store, and there, in a bin, were all the premiere foil edition #1 comics for the new marvel lineup. The guy was selling them for $5 each. Thewy were MINT condition.
My parents wouldn't loan me money, so I hid them in a dusty set of encyclopedias, as I knew we'd be back up in a week.
When I came back, turns out someone bought the encyclopedias. They were sitting there fo years according to the store owner.
The store owner also noted that someone had shoved all these comics in the encyclopedias, and then decided to look them up.
He figured out that he was selling them for far less, found a collector and made a tidy profit.
The original cost if I'd bought them originally: $50
The actualy price I could have sold them for? $5000
If I could have kicked myself in the crotch, I woudl have done so.
They made even my stubby little legs look long and sexy.
I should buy a new pair.
Katie, I invested in a man whore recently. Make sure you get the extended warranty.
I regret not purchasing a condo in Northern Virginia ten years ago. I'd be a rich SOB right now if I had just used those Stafford loans on property rather than the education . . .
(I'll bring my own this time!)
It says...
Manwhore 2000(tm)
Guaranteed to continue to provide top quality service until 2080 or 10000000km, whichever comes first.
Requires regular servicing...
Odd glitch. I should get that looked after.
Any service techs here?
P.S. Not so much with the insight
Dave, you are a genius.