Skip to main content

Rich, Famous, and Beautiful -- 1.6

From the top
Previous

Next

VI.

After opening night, Celeste woke me with a very early phone call.

“Good morning, sunshine! How was your night?”

“Late,” I mumbled. “What time is it?”

“Eight o’clock. Time for you to read your morning paper.”

“Oh! The reviews are in, aren’t they?”

“Go see for yourself,” Celeste suggested. “Don’t worry, I’ll wait here.”

After a minute, I’d found the paper and returned to the phone.

“Well . . .” Celeste urged.

“I’m afraid . . .”

“Don’t be a twit, Kate. Read the damn paper.”

It was the first page of the entertainment section. The photo was from the first scene of Act One. I was smiling wickedly as I held part of Henry’s beard between two fingers. His eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth formed a small o of pain.

MUCH ADO ABOUT BEATRICE

Soon after the light from one great actor’s career has set, the dawn of another’s has begun. Katherine Wells made her debut performance as Much Ado About Nothing’s Beatrice last night. After the loss, over a year ago, of Alistair Irving, the World’s Stage Players have lacked a figurehead. That is, until last night where Ms. Wells ruled the stage as if she in fact was the only one on it.

“Is this a joke?”

“Don’t stop reading.”

This is not to speak less of the rest of the performers. On the contrary, WSP has proved yet again that they are among the best theatre companies in the country. But in Ms. Wells, they have struck a rich vein of gold. At just nineteen, this young actress has just begun, yet she carries herself with such dignity and assurance that you would think she is a veteran. In Katherine Wells, the WSP have found a star.

“I’m a star?”

“You’re a star, baby!”

Amid fielding a dozen such calls, I was asked to meet with Edward Zwick at his office.

“Well, aren’t you just the bright shining star?”

”Stop, please. My head is swelled up so big I could barely squeeze it into the car to get over here.”

“Are you happy?”

“Delighted.”

“Excellent. I wanted to tell you that the company has decided to use your fame to the best of their ability. We want to offer you the plumpest roles in the next four shows.”

Blood rushed to me head. I could barely contain myself. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll do it. I want to secure you as our star before your swelled head floats you out of my office and into another company.”

“Of course, Edward.”

“Good. After the current show ends, we’d like to move you into Lady MacBeth. Nothing shows acting genius like playing crazy. After that we’d like you to be Portia in The Merchant of Venice. Then you’ll be playing your namesake, Katherine, in The Taming of the Shrew—“

“No. Absolutely not.”

“What? What is the problem?”

“I just won’t do it, Edward. I have entirely no interest in playing the shrew. I’m only going to use my star power on this one thing. I’m putting my foot down.”

Zwick sighed and shook his head. “Okay, if that’s what you want. Do you have objection to playing Ophelia?”

“None.”

“Excellent. Now, if you could just keep your giant head from toppling you out of the chair, I’d like you to sign a few contracts . . .”

Comments

Anonymous said…
ATTACK OF THE GIANT HEAD!

Sorry...
Dave said…
Well no, but it is attack of the giant headline. Not sure what happened there.
kris said…
I liked the giant headline. It was ass-catching.

Oh, wrong post.
kris said…
Where you at? I rely on your postings! Git to gittin'!!!

Popular posts from this blog

I should add...

... that two people were instrumental in my joining Twitter. First, Isha . She sent out an article on it when the application was still brand new. (And I remember thinking, "Screw that noise. Like I need more online commitments.) Second was Rebecca . She joined up just a short while ago, claiming she hadn't met a bandwidth she didn't like . (And then she disappeared entirely from the internets .) It looked nice and pretty over there on her sidebar, and then I got a little jealous. The rest: history. And for those unobservant among you ( Jorge ), the Twitter feed is right there on my sidebar, replacing the old Radio 3 player that I loved, but that I think scared the bejezus out of a lot of people. Also, everyone should join Twitter. I'm needing some diversions , people.
Change Two: Drink More Water Such a simple thing, yet something I just can't seem to find the time to do. About the only water I drink in your average day is whatever sweat happens to trickle off my mustache. Hydration (so the smart people tell me) is a good thing. I'm less fatigued when I drink water. I'm less hungry when I drink water. I'm even less grumpy when I drink water. I promise you nothing especially impressive. Eight glass a day ain't gonna happen. I'm shooting for two on average; two trendy, metallic, not gonna bleed Bisphenol A into my system bottles of water. I know were off to a rip-roaring start, what with the list-making and the hydration, but I'll try to get crazier with future changes. Stuff like: go to work drunk more, and buy a pair of leather pants. For now, let me ease into it.