Skip to main content

Discuss amongst yourselves - May 16th

Which early crush formed the template for all your future crushes?

Comments

Anonymous said…
I'm sure that I'll take some flack for this (and rightly so) but...here goes:

My first crush was on Disney's animated Robin Hood - yes, the fox. In the cartoon. As voiced by Brian Bedford.

He was so gallant, kind, great with kids, and willing to risk his life for those he cared about.

Most of all -- he spoke with an AMAZING British accent. My crushes on articulate British men are well known and persist to this day, but this was the first.
Jay said…
That's adorable!

My "definitive" crush was on Joey from New Kids on the Block. I continue to enjoy ridiculously rich men to this day.
Anonymous said…
Jay, I don't know what to say.

I mean sheesh! You think you know someone.

My first crush was on my teacher Mrs. Young.

The thing about a definitive crush for me is that, well, I don't really have one.

I had crushes on all different kinds of girls.

Even Dave!
Dave said…
Baby,

I'm sorry that your crush template was British and articulate, and I turned out to be neither.

But at least I'm a fox, because I'm so incredibly hot--and also, I like to sneak into barns and bite chickens in the neck.
Just_A_Rat said…
I had a crush on a girl named Vanya Ewart. At least that is the first one I remember. It wasn't really a template for my future crushes though - unlike most of 'em, that was at least somewhat reciprocated. I don't think I really had a template for crushes, though certainly some of the early ones were characterized by trying WAY too hard.
Anonymous said…
Ryan Schaeffer, kindergardner.

A cocky boy, fond of track suits and ball hockey. Knew 10 x 10 was a hundred (I claimed it was 20.)

Mr. Flash card genius was in the highest math and reading groups, the ones with names like "The A-1s" or "The Superstars" versus the ones like "The Donkey Kongs".

Pattern one: smart obnoxious boys.

But even then he had the whiff of the Canadian beer commercial, the quintessential well-adjusted everyman (circa 1982 anyway).

Pattern two: boys so acceptable I always seem like a feakshow in comparison.

Three years later he pinned me against a portable in jailbreak and I remember my knees buckling. I got my best friend to ask his best friend if he liked me. The answer was "NO!"

Pattern three: boys who are emotionally expressive only in what they are not capable of.

I like to imagine he grew up into a man with an unidentifiable office job, maybe in insurance, who floods and freezes his backyard for his kids to play hockey on. The kind of man my babysitter was married to and who might not even exist anymore.

Regardless, he doesn't have an identifiable Google identity so anything is possible.

Popular posts from this blog

I should add...

... that two people were instrumental in my joining Twitter. First, Isha . She sent out an article on it when the application was still brand new. (And I remember thinking, "Screw that noise. Like I need more online commitments.) Second was Rebecca . She joined up just a short while ago, claiming she hadn't met a bandwidth she didn't like . (And then she disappeared entirely from the internets .) It looked nice and pretty over there on her sidebar, and then I got a little jealous. The rest: history. And for those unobservant among you ( Jorge ), the Twitter feed is right there on my sidebar, replacing the old Radio 3 player that I loved, but that I think scared the bejezus out of a lot of people. Also, everyone should join Twitter. I'm needing some diversions , people.
Change Two: Drink More Water Such a simple thing, yet something I just can't seem to find the time to do. About the only water I drink in your average day is whatever sweat happens to trickle off my mustache. Hydration (so the smart people tell me) is a good thing. I'm less fatigued when I drink water. I'm less hungry when I drink water. I'm even less grumpy when I drink water. I promise you nothing especially impressive. Eight glass a day ain't gonna happen. I'm shooting for two on average; two trendy, metallic, not gonna bleed Bisphenol A into my system bottles of water. I know were off to a rip-roaring start, what with the list-making and the hydration, but I'll try to get crazier with future changes. Stuff like: go to work drunk more, and buy a pair of leather pants. For now, let me ease into it.

Discuss Amongst Yourselves - January 30th, 2006

In case you don’t read my comments (and if not, you’re nuts cause that’s where all the good stuff is), Courtney has just declared herself movie illiterate. So, if you had to recommend five essential movies that everyone should see, what would they be? Let me stress: only five. For those of you with break-the-rules tendencies (like--I dunno--just picking a name out of the air... Jorge ?), your comment gets chucked out. Give’r.