Touch You Last

I can’t post today without mentioning resolutions for 2005, but it seems to me when I resolve to do anything that sits farther up Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs than the bottom two rungs, I’m pretty much doomed to fail. So I’ll keep it simple. And to make these resolutions ever more softball, I’m only going to jot down the things I strive not to do over the coming year. I will not neglect this site like the hamster I owned when I was thirteen. After we got a dog I sort of forgot I even had a hamster, and when it inevitably died it took me a good four or five days to realize. Oh there was a smell, but we just figured the dog had tucked a poo in some dark corner of my room. I will not have that one last drink after getting home from a party, no matter how good an idea it seems at the time. I will not finish reading books that I hate. I have this awful habit of forcing myself to finish every book that I start, and now that I’m on the cusp of thirty it occurs to me that life’s too short. ...

What it comes down to in the end is jealousy. I have too many friends with their own websites and I’m feeling a bit left out. This sort of follow-the-leader thing runs in the family—my Uncle Bill being the leader. When Bill got a satellite dish, all the uncles got satellite dishes. When Bill purchased a digital camera, everyone followed suit. And if Bill ever buys a mail order bride from one of those breakaway Russian republics, rest assured that hot Russkie polygamy will run rampant throughout my extended family. Things you can expect if you visit here on a regular basis: uninspired web design irregular updates irregular bowel movements stories of my misspent youth stories of my lazy adulthood (also misspent) That’ll do for now, I think. It’s a feat that I got this far.